Mary Bardsley

Our beloved mother, Mary Bardsley, (93), of Boynton Beach, FL, passed away June 26, 2023, with her family by her side.

She was born in the Bronx, New York on August 25, 1929, the daughter of Irish immigrants John and Kathleen (Moran) O’Shaughnessy.  As a little girl, she grew up in Lyndhurst, NJ. Her mother’s family all lived in a one block radius of each other.  Mary had wonderful memories of those early days spent with her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

At an early age, Mary moved with her parents back to New York City so that her father could have a shorter commute. For a short time, the family lived in Washington Heights.  They subsequently moved to an apartment in the Bronx just offFordham Road. Her brother John and sister Clare were bornthere. That apartment would later be iconic for her children from visits with their O’Shaughnessy grandparents on many Sundays and holidays – – experiencing New York City through itswindows and understanding their Irish heritage through its decor.   

Mary graduated from St. Nicholas of Tolentine High School, Bronx, NY in 1947 and enrolled in night classes at Hunter College where she received a BA in English Literature in 1953. Also, during this time, Mary was employed at the Borden Company, and later, The Great Lakes Carbon Corporation – – where she quickly rose to be an executive secretary. At Borden, she befriended a group of co-workers who would become lifelong friends. They would call themselves “The Borden Girls”, and they were part of Mary’s social circle and conversations for the next seventy years. 

She met Robert Bardsley, the love of her life, at a St. Nicholas of Tolentine church dance in the Bronx. He lived just up the road in Yonkers and attended the dance with a few friends – – and a date. This prompted Mary’s famous quip that we were to hear many times as my parents recounted their courtship: “Who brings a date to a mixer?!”. Nevertheless, Robert knew immediately that she was the girl for him. Mary was bright, beautiful and level-headed. Soon they were dating which prompted another famous line in our family history when my grandmother said to her daughter – “Bardsley? … that doesn’t sound Irish”. 

They married in October 1953 and lived for short durations in Crestwood, NY and Hayward, CA. In 1963, they returned from California and settled in Harrington Park, NJ, where they livedfor the next 58 years. Along the way Mary gave birth to five children:  Bob, Tom, John, Anne and Kathy. She devoted herself to these children for the rest of her life. This group was later enlarged to include her grandchildren: Stephen, Christine, Patrick, Megan and Katie who were equally cherished.

As Bob succeeded in the business world, he left the domestic domain completely to Mary – – and she excelled at it. For each relocation, she sold houses, sailboats and directed the movers.  Moving to the suburbs, she learned to drive, cook, sew, garden, review homework, and diagnose manyillnesses with the skill of a medical doctor. In short Mary developed the skills needed to support her family on a path to a happy life. Not surprisingly one of her favorite magazines was Good Housekeeping. She decorated the Harrington Park house with a warm decor, cooked great meals and hosted wonderful holiday gatherings where her parents & Bob’s parents and the Lyndhurst relatives were the guests of honor. This tradition continued until her children would eventually assume that role.

In Harrington Park many of Mary’s neighbors came from similar backgrounds. They were young couples that had moved from New York City to the suburbs of New Jersey to raise their families. There was a comradery amongst the families on the block that was beautiful, and Mary was a part of that. She threw great parties that pulled in neighborhood friends along with those from their NYC/Westchester days, Bob’s co-workers from General Foods, and of course the “Borden girls”.  

She was a member of the Harrington Park Women’s Club for almost 60 years, the OLV Rosary Society and Club 60. She held numerous officer positions. Bob would often remark that Mary would have become a successful executive if she had continued in the business world. He wasn’t exaggerating. She was also atenacious bargain hunter. She and her good friend, Winnie, took advantage of the resources at nearby malls in Paramus, Oradell and Hackensack. It would be hard to calculate the number of smiles Mary’s efforts at gift searching brought to her children and grandchildren’s faces on their birthdays or Christmas holidays over the years. 

Through the years Mary and Bob traveled extensively throughout the United States, Europe and the Caribbean.  Her favorite locations were Paris, Nice, Florence, Vienna and the small towns of Ireland where her parents grew up. Despite all this travel, Mary maintained she was still just “a New York City girl”.

In their retirement years Bob and Mary spent time at the family “Farm” in the Catskills during the summers and their Fort Myers, Florida condominium during the winter. Both locales benefited from Mary’s decorating touch and were warm and friendly. Mary kept in touch with all her children and grandchildren and someone was always visiting them at these locales. Time with her grandchildren was treasured whether they were out at Fort Myers beach or swimming in the Beaverkill River in the Catskills. She was teaching them to love life. 

All in all, one could not be around Mary Bardsley without knowing that she cared. It would be hard to overstate how much her caring affected the broader family. Her energy and caring made her the glue for the family and put her at the center of supporting many during hard times. She was a wonderful friend, wife, mother and grandmother. The family will miss her terribly.  

Mary was preceded in death by Robert, her loving husband and lifetime partner, in 2020.  Also, her parents, John and Kathleen O’Shaughnessy, her brother John O’Shaughnessy, her sister Clare Burke, her brother-in-law Richard Bardsley and his wife Joy, and just recently by cousins Helen Kearney and Joan Becker.

Mary is survived by her children Robert Bardsley Jr. of Delray Beach, FL., Thomas Bardsley (Donna Ng) of Hawthorne, NY, John Bardsley (Jim Brubaker) of Brooklyn, NY, Anne Bardsley (Robin Rizzo) of Boynton Beach, FL, Kathleen Roughan (Paul) of Delray Beach, FL, and grandchildren Stephen Pompeo(Victoria), Christine Roughan, Patrick Roughan, Megan Roughan (Lake) and Katie Ross. She is also survived by hersister-in-law Phyllis O’Shaughnessy and many nephews and nieces including John O’Shaughnessy, Siobhan O’Shaughnessy, Gael O’Shaughnessy, Mavis O’Neill, John Bardsley, Judy Goings, Janice Cummings, Deb Bardsley, Eileen Burke, Jean-Marie Burke and Martin Burke.

A viewing ceremony will be held on Thursday, July 6, 2023from 4PM to 8PM at the Pizzi Funeral Home in Northvale, NJ. A Mass of the Resurrection will take place at Our Lady of Victories Church in Harrington Park, NJ on Friday, July 7, 2023at 10AM. Mary will be buried alongside her husband at Rockland Cemetery in Sparkill, NY. The burial will take place shortly after the church service.